| Oddly
Enough: Humorous and
touching stories from olden days
Sample Story: A Fair Deal I hauled back on the reins. "whoa, Buddy." He skittered his hooves on the hard packed road, while the black horse, Conrad, braced his legs. If Buddy fell, it would be disastrous not only for him, but also for Conrad, me, and the heavy load of timber riding on the wagon behind us. I shot up from my seat and stood on the wagon brake. Buddy found his footing, and I eased up on the brake. Conrad matched his step to Buddy's and we continued our treacherous journey, the horse's ears twitching as they maneuvered the steep mountain road. My shoulders relaxed when we reached the level stretch into town. Pulling the wagon to a stop at the lumberyard, I swung down from the seat and walked to the head of my team. Conrad nodded at me and mouthed his bit. I gave him a pat. "Good job, Conrad." Buddy's head hung low as the breath wheezed in and out of his big nostrils. I bent over and stroked his nose. "Buddy, I'm afraid you're getting too old for his job," I murmured. Buddy lifted his head for a moment and looked me in the eye. "Mighty fine load you got there, mister." I turned to see a stranger astride a dark horse. "We do all right," I said, straightening up. "The stranger slid down to the ground and put out a hand. "Name's McGee." I gave the proffered hand a brief shake. "Hansen."
McGee looked over the load of wood again. then his eyes stopped on
Buddy. "What's the matter with your horse?"
"You got a young one coming up?" McGee hitched his pants and stuck his thumbs through the belt tabs. "Well, then, how'd you like to make a trade?" "Trade what?" "Trade this here load of lumber for anew horse." "Can't." McGee took a step back. "Why not?" "This load's spoken for. But I can get you another." McGee nodded. "That'd be fine. I'd like it sawed into boards, boards with no knots." I scratched my chin. "What for?" "Furniture building. I'm opening a new business here, and I aim to use good, smooth wood." I nodded. "Well, I can't very well ask Buddy to go back up there." "The black looks okay." "Conrad can't pull a load of lumber by himself." "Well, if it's all right with you, it's all right by me if we make the first part of the trade now." McGee raised a hand to indicate his horse that wasn't black, yet wasn't brown either. he was the color of evening, a soft, dark gray. "He'd make quite a pair with your black." "I don't need a saddle horse." "he's an all-purpose horse." "Can he pull?" "Like an ox." "Won't do me any good if he can't pull." "Blaze can pull. He likes pulling." I looked the horse over. he couldn't see a blaze mark on him anywhere. "You raise him up?" "Since he was two." "How old is he?" McGee's flat hand wobbled in the air. "Seven or thereabouts." I ran a hand along the horse's neck and then pried open his mouth. the teeth showed a reasonable amount of wear, not too severe. a whole load of sawed lumber without knots was a keen price to pay for a horse, but without one, I wouldn't be getting any lumber at all. "Well, if he can pull, I can use him." I put my hand out toward McGee. He took it. "When can I get my lumber?" "Well, if you want it sawed and all, it'll have to be next week." "all right. I'll have you deliver it to my place. How's that?" "Fine by me." The next day, I led Blaze to Buddy's place beside Conrad. he shied at the traces. "Who, there, boy," I said. I petted his nose. he wasn't used to Conrad, or me, or the wagon. it was understandable. no matter what he'd pulled before, it wouldn't' be exactly like my rig. With soft words and firm hands, i finally got him hitched up. "Get up, there," I called. Conrad started forward, but Blaze stiffened his legs. "Giddyup," I called, flicking the reins across their backs. Blaze jumped, a series of odd little hops, which was all he could do while strapped in like he was. I worried that he might hurt himself, so i got off the wagon, walked to the head of my team, and soothed him. "It's all right, Blaze. We're just going for a walk," I said. Blaze stamped and shook his back, rattling the chains. "You're supposed to be a puller," I reminded him. Blaze snorted and shook his head. "No, I didn't think so." A week later, I pulled up in front of McGee's with Conrad and Buddy hitched to a wagon load of lumber. Beside me was my nephew, Abraham. I watched McGee hurry out to the wagon. "Well, right on time," McGee said, his face all smiles. When he saw Buddy, his smile faltered. I grinned at him from the wagon seat. "Where do you want it?" McGee blinked, and his smile returned. He swept his hand toward the dirt drive. "Around back would be fine." I picked up the reins and guided my team around the house. When I stopped, Abraham climbed over the seat and began pitching boards over the side. I joined him, tossing boards as fast as I could. McGee hurried over to the stack that was beginning to resemble a beaver den. He grabbed the closest board and pulled it free, dragging it off to one side before dropping it. He started down at it for a moment before turning his face up to look at me. "What is this?" he asked. I looked over the sdie, where McGee's accusing finger aimed at the holes punched through the board. I shrugged. "It's your lumber." His mouth opened and closed like a fish before he sputtered, "It' can't be! We agreed on a load of lumber with no knots in it! We shook on it!" "I remember that handshake," i said. "I shook for a pulling horse. In spite of the horse that won't pull, i still kept my word. he makes a passable saddle horse, leastways, though I don't' need a saddle horse and didn't bargain for one. so i hired Abraham here to hammer out all the knots from this reject pile wood. I guarantee you, McGee, your load of lumber is completely knot-free. If you find any, then I'll bring you another load of knot-free lumber, and without holes, free of charge."
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Table of Contents Outlaw An Act of God A Fair Deal Father for an Hour Lubberly Old Cuss Silver Dollar Stirrups A Girl Named Crismus Snatch and Grab Guilty Where's The Food? Egg Lady If It Sticks to the Ceiling Break Chick A Doozy of a Cartwheel Emergency Medical Treatment First Wife's Plea Shiver Me Timbers Cakewalk Devil Liquor Fatal Fever Cuisine Waiting to Wash the Bottom of the Plate Scissors Frugal Alice I'll Take Care of You To Grow Into Mom! Where Are You? Without Feet
Endorsements:
What a great collection! Nothing brings the pioneer stories to life more than reading the actual words of these amazing heroes. This fresh collection elicits both tears and laughter, and warms our hearts with gratitude for our forebears. Their faith and fortitude truly strengthens our own.
JONI HILTON: popular LDS author
Shirley Bahlmann is a master storyteller, weaving humor with inspiration. This book's pages are filled with poignant, heart-warming tales that will stir your soul, instill gratitude, bring a smile to your spirit and leave you wishing for more. Enjoy!
TRINA BOICE: best-selling LDS author (and laughter queen) |